Just Believe

Last night, I had a chance to share my story about God in my life with my small group bible study members. I was surprised that they thought my story was very cool and personal. I thought my stroy would be boring, so I talked real fast. Anyhow, I was glad that my story could touch some of my friends' hearts.

One part of my story was about how I claimed my faith recently. Think about you're in a relationship with a guy. I sort of liked him without knowing what he was all about. I thought it was pretty coold to have someone i could talk all the time. And then, I got busy with other things - friends, school, etc - and he seemed less cool. He didn't seem to talk to me very much and I wasn't able to feel his presence all the time. Therefore, I ignored him for a long time or didn't trust him for some reason. I tried to test him and see if he still loved me. I was mean to him. I vented on him whenever I got frustrated with my life. He stayed by my side although I used him as my punching ball sometimes. Some other times, I was good to him and appreciated his presence and love. However, he was often overlooked whenever I got really busy. I have had this kind of relationship with God for 28 years now.

If you're in a relationship with someone and he has been good to you no matter what you do to him, wouldn't you believe that he really loves you? Recently, I just decide to believe God loves me so much. I just decide to believe in Him. I just decide to love him. Actually, claiming my faith wasn't as hard as I thought. It was that simple!

Jamestown, AL

Late Posting - Jamestown, AL Nov 2006.

Thanks to Lance, I was able to climb at Jamestown, AL. It was very different to climb 90 feet walls when I was used to climb at the gym, which had 27 feet walls.

Now I realize that it's hard to see a rope in this picture. I didn't lead but it looks like I was soloing, which I won't do it Ever!

Gee... I started using climbing jargons.

Rock Climbing Effects

It's been almost a year since I started rock climbing. This is one of very few sports that I stick to more than a couple of months and I wondered why I like this so much.

1. Social effects
Climbing is not a team sport for sure, but you need to have a belayer unless you're up for bouldering. It's a good way to walk to a stranger and ask for a ride - to the ceiling. When you go outside, it's really hard not to meet people and became friends. I heard that there are some gyms where people are not very friendly but the gym I go to is pretty nice in that perspective.
Also, it's a good place to hang out and catch up in between climbing. I thnk I spend a lot of time with Joyce and Richard (picture) at the gym more than any other places these days.

2. Physical effects
Although people do not get scared of the size my forearm muscles, I definitely have built some strengths. These days, i can boulder around the gym without taking too much break. ;) I still cannot do any pull-ups but i'll get there eventually. I gained 10 lbs since I started climbing about a year ago. However, my dress size hasn't changed unless all my clothes were stretched. I guess, I didn't have any muscles before??? Polishing my nails used to be one of my ways to release stress. I was told that I have pretty hands until I started climbing. Rock climbing indeed screwed my nails but I don't care that much anymore. Why? Richard convinced me and Joyce that guys don't care much about Women's nail much. I guess, i trade my pretty nails with toned back??

3. Psychological effects
I like climbing because you can see your progress and set your goals for the next time. If you haven't noticed, I'm pretty much goal-oriented and goal-driven person. Therefore, having a tangible goals and work towards those is pretty fun.
Overhanging walls are still very intimidating but those are there to challenge me. From my experience, psychological part is very big in climbing, depending on your confidence level, you can or cannot climb certain routes. It's tricky not to get your mind affect you, though.
It's so surprising when you tell your self "you can do it" and then reach for the next hold, chances are very high that you can reach it. This practice helped me in other parts of my life as well.

Overall this sport made me a better and stronger person both inside and out. So, guys, let's climb on!

Wow! Already 2007

It's embarassing that the last entry of this site was October!
I guess, my life got a bit hectic as the new project started and my responsibilities became tenfolds. I went to Korea to change my VISA status and then holiday seasons...

So, I didn't even think about the New Year's resolutions yet until my co-worker asked the team to write down one for a newspaper.

Here's one of my new year's resolutions. I work at CDC right now where public health is emphasized. That's why there is a nice gym in the building for free to employees and even contractors. I've gone there twice for the last three months. So, for this year, I'll increase the frequency of hitting the gym to twice for three weeks. :) How about that?
And seriously, before my annual rock gym membership expires, i will hit the gym twice a week. I want to climb 5.9 real well so that I can start the lead climb. yay~!

What's your new year's resolution!

BTW, here's the resolution from 2006 now i'm thinking it was not possible. - give up junk food and eat healthy! Well... I ended up wearing my favorite "I love Carbs" t-shirt and had McDonalds for lunch yesterday. I want to give up junk food eventually, though.

Negotiation skills: job offer

I attended a negotiation skills workshop today and during the lecture, i realized how naive i was when i acceped the job offer.
"Negotiation" was the last thing that I had in my mind. Why? Because I was desperate to get A job. I did not know what "Base Salary" meant. I thought that was the walk away minimum level, not the salary before bonus and benefits. I didn't even research how much the average salary is for the position. Stupid!!!
I knew that I got the lower position because the director didn't see my academic experience as my real experience.
I researched a bit and realized that what I'm making is the far bottom (actually out of the average range when they applied my personal qualification/education level).

I know i should be very grateful to get the current job so that I can make a living and have a good life in a new city. But, it's important to market yourself at a proper value. Gosh~! I need to get about 40% raise to meet the median level of salary. 40% raise, huh?

I know money is not everything but when i found out all this today, I wasn't a very happy person. :( Ahhhh~~ I better prepare for the next negotiation session.

Dissertation

I thought it was funny to present my dissertation at AECT exactly a year after my dissertation defense.
I'm so glad it was over! I have no desire to go back to school and work on my dissertation if I had taken a job without finishing it. :)

AECT Debrief

It was my 5th year at the AECT (Association for Educational Communication and Technology) conference. It was my first one after the graduation and I noticed some changes this time.

1. Funding: Since I'm not in academia, my situation was different from many of other attendees. In business consulting, not many people appreciate the value of presenting an academic paper at a major conference. Therefore, I had to support myself to go to this conference. I had to use my personal time and expenses, which ended up quite expensive. When I was a grad student, I was able to receive funding from different sources and didn’t have to pay much. Some co-workers did not understand me why I spend so much money and time to go to the conference. Ah well…

2. Job: I was glad to see many of my friends found good jobs in academia. I was a bit envious a bit when a friend of mine had a position at Indiana University. However, I asked myself if I would like to move to Indiana for a job. I’m not very good with cold weather and my answer would be “I wouldn’t be as excited as when I got a job offer from my current position.” Anyhow, many people found it odd that I, who is in business consulting, attended conference.

3. Good ol’ time: Like I mentioned earlier, it’s my 5th year since I started attending conferences. I learned how to enjoy conferences. The real fun starts outside of sessions. I attended only two sessions in this conference. For me, the main reason to attend this conference was to strengthen my existing network. It was nice to meet old faces from PIDT, AECT, and ISPI. I went out for lunch/dinner two nights in a row with many people. I had a good time. ;) Too bad I missed the Korean event on Thursday night, though. I hope I don’t miss much.

4. Bottom line: I wanted to go back to academia after getting some experience from the consulting. But do I really want to? Or do I have pressure to go back to academia because that seems the right thing to do if you have Ph.D? My interest is mostly in higher education and work settings. My ultimate interest is to provide strategies to grow and improve their performance through analysis, evaluation, and other systems approach. I decide not to worry too much about my future career path. About a year and a half ago when I attended PIDT, I told everyone that I would love to be in consulting to get some experience. At that time, it looked really tough to get a job in consulting but it happened. If I really focus on what I want, I’m sure opportunities will come alone. I rather focus on what I really want in my life in terms of my career. J

Restless

Rest! How do you rest physically or mentally or both? For upcoming Bridge single ministry event, I’ll prepare for the discussion material for “Rest.”
I really don’t know how to rest. Even when I sleep, my mind is so busy that in my dream I’m busy with preparing for a final report, an important project or running around. I often fail to distinguish whether I was dreaming or not, so what happens in my dream seems real and the stress level is the same as it would happen in my real life. Therefore, I can’t really get sound rest when I busy dreaming while I sleep.

I didn’t realize that I’ve been very tense until I visited my aunt and uncle in Florida in the beginning of this month. I was so sleep for the entire weekend and I went to bed before 10 pm and slept through 8 in the morning. In addition, I had to take a nap every day. When I go back home in Atlanta, I couldn’t really rest since I always plan so many things over the weekend and have to start my day from 7 or 8 on Saturday morning. I’m busy working during the week like everyone else, and then busy with other activities over the weekend - hiking, biking, climbing, bible studies, socials, hanging out with friends, etc. Even when I watch a movie at home, I play with my laptop at the same time or sort mails. I just can’t be still. However, my problem is, though, I don’t feel like I achieve many things. For example, I'm stressed out because I feel I'm behind of doing research and publsihing articles but is really hard for me to find time or energy to work on those things. I always feel like I'm behind of something. Is it because of I’m an over achiever or I’m not efficient enough to do all tasks on time?

I like to analyze things, which is perfect for my job. However, sometimes I wish I can just stop thinking and analyzing in so many different angles. When I’m physically so tired at night, my head is still spinning with all thoughts. I wish I learn how to let go my thoughts and fall a sleep. I never had problems falling a sleep when I was in Korea. As I started living alone in the States, I started having problems falling a sleep less than 20 minutes. Sometimes it takes me an hour till I fall a sleep. I wonder I cannot fall a sleep easily because I have full of worries and concerns. I can’t help wondering if my faith is not strong enough and I end up worrying about little things. I want to be relaxed and take some sound rest in God’s hands.