Restless

Rest! How do you rest physically or mentally or both? For upcoming Bridge single ministry event, I’ll prepare for the discussion material for “Rest.”
I really don’t know how to rest. Even when I sleep, my mind is so busy that in my dream I’m busy with preparing for a final report, an important project or running around. I often fail to distinguish whether I was dreaming or not, so what happens in my dream seems real and the stress level is the same as it would happen in my real life. Therefore, I can’t really get sound rest when I busy dreaming while I sleep.

I didn’t realize that I’ve been very tense until I visited my aunt and uncle in Florida in the beginning of this month. I was so sleep for the entire weekend and I went to bed before 10 pm and slept through 8 in the morning. In addition, I had to take a nap every day. When I go back home in Atlanta, I couldn’t really rest since I always plan so many things over the weekend and have to start my day from 7 or 8 on Saturday morning. I’m busy working during the week like everyone else, and then busy with other activities over the weekend - hiking, biking, climbing, bible studies, socials, hanging out with friends, etc. Even when I watch a movie at home, I play with my laptop at the same time or sort mails. I just can’t be still. However, my problem is, though, I don’t feel like I achieve many things. For example, I'm stressed out because I feel I'm behind of doing research and publsihing articles but is really hard for me to find time or energy to work on those things. I always feel like I'm behind of something. Is it because of I’m an over achiever or I’m not efficient enough to do all tasks on time?

I like to analyze things, which is perfect for my job. However, sometimes I wish I can just stop thinking and analyzing in so many different angles. When I’m physically so tired at night, my head is still spinning with all thoughts. I wish I learn how to let go my thoughts and fall a sleep. I never had problems falling a sleep when I was in Korea. As I started living alone in the States, I started having problems falling a sleep less than 20 minutes. Sometimes it takes me an hour till I fall a sleep. I wonder I cannot fall a sleep easily because I have full of worries and concerns. I can’t help wondering if my faith is not strong enough and I end up worrying about little things. I want to be relaxed and take some sound rest in God’s hands.